Day 30 Vacant

Vacant, that's how I feel. 

I'm empty. I want someone to take away the pain. But is it pain I feel? I want to be heard. I want to be accepted for who I am. Since when did I start apologizing for being me. Where is the me who was full of energy and life. They must have died. Worst thing is I don't feel like doing anything about it. Or maybe it's too hard? I have people close to me. So it's not like I'm alone. Even still I'm isolated all the same. There is a child inside me that wants to be consoled. That wants to be held tight, that wants to be told it's all okay. He's shy, and doesn't want to show. Doesn't want to be exposed. It's scary and uncertain in the world. So this child hides deep within, longing for the sun that will never rise. He's a dreamer, and I love how he never thinks of failure. He is happy doing simply anything with loved ones. But this world. Is it one where simply being happy is possible? One thing adds onto another. Now life seems impossible, dreams are shattered. Hope is just an idea people cling to in order to reject reality.