Ozzy day 23 Down tremendously

Monkey cat fireball. I don't know what I'm writing. A journal entry of course. I’m down tremendously. Like I look at every girl that passes me by. It's horrible. I just need to chill. It's getting ridiculous. But I long for human touch and interaction. It's causing me to do things I normally would not. I want someone to cuddle with so badly. It's making me go crazy. I don't really know what I can do to overcome that weakness of mine. Maybe I just have to get a girl. That means it's back to the pits of online dating where I want to jump off a bridge and die. Haha. I hate it so much. Future me, I don't want you to settle. But what is settling? Does it mean going for a girl who is super hot. Or going for a girl that is super nice. I'm not sure. But I think that a girl treating you well is more important than anything else. My schedule is bad again. But that's because I don't have one. I realise how much of a difference doing things at the same time everyday is. Makes everything so much easier. Once I get used to that again I will be okay. I really want some weed. Like I'm dying to have some. Hahahaha. I need some. Lmao. I would fight a monkey for some. Also I'm so mad at this guy who ripped me off. I can't believe it. I can. Actually. But he can see that I'm moving into a new place and just trying to settle down and willing to sell something incomplete without even saying it is. So annoying. I don't know why people do things like that. Also it might be time for a bit of a villain ark. I will be more greedy. More selfish. Less willing to share. Being nice doesn't work out well for me. So I wont be. I'll only be nice to people who I know will return the favor. I've come a long way so far. And I'll only go further. I just have to be able to settle my personal issues. Like too much dopamine crashing. I shouldn't allow myself to get youtube on my phone again. It's just too much for my monkey brain. Ooh shiny. I can't be bothered. I just about left to go open youtube on my pc. It's less instant gratification. Going on a walk and singing and stuff is easy. Like makes me feel way better. Also dancing. It instantly shifts my mood from poor to, i'm having fun.