Ozzy day 31 Sin and punishment

Lord forgive me for I have sinned.

I await my punishment but it never arrives.

Will I gather my sins and pay for them all at once?

I made a terrible mistake. One that will corrupt my very soul. I should be punished for my sins. Who is the one who will deal me justice for my transgressions? I want to be disciplined. I want someone to tell me off. To put me in the timeout corner. I'm not a child anymore. My parents don't watch over my actions. So who will? Who will put me back into place when I've overstepped. I hate myself when I fail and embrace the darkness that resides in all humans. I hate it most when there are no repercussions. Will God not strike me down? My entire soul screams at me when I indulge my evil. After my sin I sit around like a lifeless corpse. No hope, no life. Just waiting for oblivion. It's a terrible feeling. I want to be doing the right thing. I want to be punished, of course I don't want to pay the price for what I've done. But sinning and having nothing happen feels wrong. Now that I'm independent, I'm the only one who can monitor myself. Hold me up to the standards I find important. It's difficult. If I can't take hold of my actions now when I'm nobody. How bad will it be when I have power, Influence, money? It will be easier to get away with sins. Easier to commit them. I will have less people over me. Less people to mete out justice. It's a scary thought. A thought of me who could be. My shadow, patiently waiting to consume me.