Ozzy day 36 Something new

Let's try something new. Believing in people. I've noticed that my outlook has gotten pretty gloomy recently. I assume the worst about people. 

This person is greedy. 

This person doesn't mean what they say,

This person talks bad about me when I'm not around.

When did I start thinking this way? It's just my insecurities that I project onto other people. I've heard several times that you find what you wanna see in the world. If you're always looking for the worst in people, you will find it. If you're looking for all the great things, you will find them as well. I want to have a positive outlook and see where it leads me. If it lets me down. Then maybe I'll go back to being stubborn. What kind of man would I become if I choose to hold on to a naive yet optimistic viewpoint? Even through the inevitable betrayals. I'm not sure if that's the kind of man I would want to be. A paragon. A hero. I think that way of living is for those who find joy in helping others. Lets try thinking.

This person is sweet.

This person is telling the truth.

This person says positive things about me.

This feels terrible even in writing.

I feel like that's just how to be used and manipulated. How to be let down and disappointed time and time again. Looking for the best when it isn't there is bad. I think I'm scared from the last time I tried. Unable to fully heal. But still ill try it again.